The Frozen Duck
by Lady Lynn
Summary: Complete. Its a funny story. Duck turns into a woman... SS/Author - rated for kissing and very mild language. r/r! ^^


"I didn't mean to! Honest!" A girl in the back of McGonagal's classroom squealed.  
  
"What's going on back there?" McGonagal said as she walked to Anna Feral's desk. The girl pouted and pointed at a duck... a frozen duck. "Where did that come from?" McGonagal said, her eyebrows raising, trying to be serious.  
  
"I- I don't know! I didn't do it! I swear! I was just practicing turning my pet chipmunk into a coconut and this duck... it... fell out of the ceiling!" Anna said, her eyes wide as she hugged her pet chipmunk, Ernest, to her chest.  
  
McGonagal just looked at her. The rest of the class was busting up in laughter. "This is no laughing matter!" She said loudly, and in a deadly enough tone that caused the class to stop laughing.  
  
Dumbledore walked into the class room, his eyes twinkling. "Have any of you seen a frozen duck? I was researching legends, this duck happens to be one, and the thing is, it sunk right through my floor-"  
  
"It's right here, Professor Dumbledore." McGonagal said, exasperated.  
  
His eyes twinkled even more. "Wonderful! I think it likes you, Professor!"  
  
"What?" McGonagal said. *Oh great, he's lost his marbles.* Half the class was surpressing giggles. One boy, from Hufflepuff chuckled, unable to contain himself, and McGonagal shot an evil look at him that shut him right up. Anna started screaming.  
  
"ITS MOVING! ITS MOVING!! GET IT AWAY!!! AHHHH!!!!" She jumped out of her chair, and the chair fell over backwards, knocking into a desk that had a fishbowl on it and the fishbowl fell onto the chair, breaking, and soaking Anna's backside. The goldfish in the bowl was really mad.  
  
"WHATS THE BIG IDEA?!" The fish shouted, then started gasping for water. Anna screamed again.  
  
"Oh for Pete's sake! Reparo!" The fish bowl collected itself. The fish jumped into the bowl, then the owner of it went and refilled the bowl with water. Everyone's attention was back on the duck, who's ice shell was breaking around the ducks twitching feet.  
  
Anna screamed once again, then fainted. McGonagal sighed, "Class dismissed, and someone please bring Anna to the hospital wing."  
  
There was a few more giggles from other students, and some Ravenclaws dragged Anna out of the room. Soon the classroom was empty.  
  
"Ribbit!" The duck said, somehow it's feet breaking through the shell of ice around it and it waddled.  
  
"What is the meaning of this, Professor Dumbledore?" McGonagal said, eyeing the duck like the Dursleys looked at Harry.  
  
Before Albus had a chance to answer, none other than that sexy man called Severus Snape gracefully came through the door.  
  
"Albus, What is it? I have another class soon. I got the message-" Snape said, but was cut off. He looked grumpily at Dumbledore (who had cut him off.)  
  
"Ah, Yes, Severus. See this duck-" Dumbledore started, but was cut off. The Hogwarts Professors are very rude, cutting people off all the time.  
  
"A DUCK? That thing? You're wasting my time! bringing me down here because of some... Frozen Duck that waddles."  
  
"Ribbit!" The duck croaked again. Snape raised his eyebrows.  
  
"A Frozen Duck that waddles and croaks." He said, slowly, staring at it, his expression masked.  
  
"Well, you know how muggles have stories about frogs that turn into princes? Well, this beautiful creature will turn into a female, if kissed by a Potions Master." Dumbledore said, retaining a chuckle at Snape's scowl.  
  
"I'm not kissing a duck. I have no desire to, nor will I."  
  
"What does this have to do with me?" McGonagal said, looking at the two.  
  
"It likes you, so you'll have to take care of it until Snape comes to his senses. If all else fails, of course, we could just hit him over the head with a heavy object and force him to drink a Commandment Potion while he's out cold." Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling, chuckling at the last part of what he said.  
  
Minerva smiled, "Okay. How do I take care of this... silly thing?"  
  
Snape scowled, looking at Dumbledore. "I'm going back to my classroom." He said grumpily, leaving the room.  
  
McGonagal looked at Dumbledore. He smiled, "Make sure you keep in a warm place." He continued at McGonagal's confused look, "Not too warm, we don't want it to die, then Severus will never have a girlfriend."  
  
McGonagal's eyes widened. Dumbledore chuckled again. "See, Minerva, this duck, if my research is correct, once human, will be able to break through Severus's wall. It managed to break through the ice, see."  
  
Minerva nodded, listening. "The Duck will need to be in a warmer place to thaw out. Not too much of course. You only need to take care of it for tonight, Ill be sure to have Severus down here kissing it tomorrow." Dumbledore chuckled again, thinking of the sight of Severus kissing a duck. Minerva grinned.  
  
"Okay," She said, picking up the duck as students started filing into the classroom. Dumbledore left, his eyes twinkling with glee.  
  
She carried the duck to the front of the room and set it on her desk. The moment she set it down, it went "Ribbit!"  
  
The class cracked up laughing.  
  
The rest of the day, she had a hard time keeping her classes in order, and she had to bring it to the Great Hall with her. Snape was staring at it as if it were the most disgusting creature on earth. Students were staring at it too, and when McGonagal looked at them they'd put their heads together and giggled.  
  
That night around 11PM Dumbledore heard a scream coming from McGonagal's room. Snape did, too. They both hurriedly made their way down to her quarters from their own. Dumbledore's eyes twinkled when he found out what happened. He seemed to find it amusing that the duck had peed on McGonagal's floor. The smell reeked.  
  
Severus quickly got a potion to remove the pee from the carpet, and Dumbledore did a spell to neutralize the odor, then cause the room to smell of cinnamon.  
  
After everything was squared away and cleaned, McGonagal started fuming. "I'm not taking care of that retched duck anymore! Just kiss the stupid thing, Severus! It'll be much easier to manage as a witch! KISS IT!"  
  
Snape yawned, looking at McGonagal, then Dumbledore. He rolled his eyes. "Fine, but if this gets out to anyone that I kissed a duck, I'll kill both of you."  
  
Dumbledore chuckled, and Minerva grinned. Snape took a deep breath, he couldn't believe he was about to do something as uncharacteristic as this, but he had to. "I don't want you watching me when I kiss the duck. This is bad enough as it is." Snape said seriously. Albus laughed, and turn around. Minerva did the same thing.  
  
Snape picked the duck up, and looked it square in the eye. "You better not tell anyone about this." He muttered. The duck responded by nuzzling his hand and ribbiting. Snape looked disgusted. "You're going to give me duck itch! Knock it off!" The duck ribbited again.  
  
Albus spoke up, "Just kiss it and get it over with, Severus." He said, with a chuckle.  
  
Severus breathed and glared at Albus's back. Then, he brought the duck level with his face, and kissed the duck on the beak.  
  
There was a loud popping noise, and the duck disappeared from Sexy Sevvie's (^_^) hands. The room went dark, then slowly came back to light. Severus found him self standing face to face... with none other than ME!  
  
Yes, me, the wonderful author of this fic managed to join. I look different in the fic, though, than I do out of it. Here I have long, raven black hair that is straight. My eyes are an intense dragon green color, and I'm just a little shorter than Severus. I'm wearing glasses, but that only makes me look cuter and more intelligent. My robes are dark green and silver. This only impresses the man I love, because he's a Slytherin.  
  
I smile and step towards Snape, wrapping my arms around his neck and gently kissing his cheek. Severus grows ridged, then angry, stepping away and out of my arms. I giggle a little and smile at him. "Thank you for freeing me, Severus" I say, but he only scowls.  
  
Dumbledore could be heard chuckling in the background. He looks at me with pure glee in his eyes and walks over to me, takes my hand, and kisses it. "A pleasure to make you're aquaitence. I am Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster of this school. She is Professor McGonagal, Deputy Headmaster and transfiguration professor. May I ask your name?"  
  
I smile, "My name's Randi Lynn Sterling." My eyes wander from Albus to Severus, and then I smile at him, "I'd appreciate it if you called me Randi-Lynn, though," Looking back at Albus, "Randi sounds like a guys name."  
  
Dumbeldore smiled, "Very well, it appears we shall be leaving Minerva's quarters now. I have a place for you to stay for as long as you wish. Yes, Severus, you may leave."  
  
Severus smirked and walked gracefully out, his robes billowing majestically. I can't help but sigh, a dreamy look in my eyes. I quickly snap out of it and look to Minerva.  
  
"Thank you, Minerva, for taking care of me." And with that, Dumbledore lead me to my quarters. I was quite pleased to find that they were right next to Severus's. When he found out, though, he simply grunted.  
  
Dumbledore gave me permission to spend my time watching Professor Snape's potions classes. I gladly did. He'd glare at me from time to time as I wandered around helping the students with their potions, and stopping him from being too harsh. The students seemed to find it funny. At night I'd wander around his quarters until it was time for bed, and I'd sit by him at the head table. I managed to get a few smiles out of him.  
  
His smiles were heavenly, so it's a good thing he doesn't smile much. He has one of those smiles that make your knees weak, and your heart race. Well, mine at least. He seemed to know he had this effect on me, too, because he was obviously keeping himself from smirking. He didn't talk too much, but I didn't mind that.  
  
I followed him back to his quarters one night after dinner. He sat down on his couch and stared into the fire. I took a seat beside him, and leaned on him.  
  
"Dammit woman, get off me." He said it in a way that lead me to believe he really didn't want me off him, so I smiled and nuzzled into his shoulder.  
  
"Why, Sevvie-" I started, but he cut me off, gently of course.  
  
"Since when did you have permission to call me by a nickname, Randi Lynn?" He said, putting his arm around me. "What the hell?"  
  
I giggled.  
  
"What are you doing to me!?" He asked, sounding somewhat outraged. He was referring to me making him put his arm around me- see, I'm the author, so I can make him do anything I want.  
  
"Oh calm yourself, Sev, you know you wanted to, you're just too shy-"  
  
"I am not shy!" He muttered. I felt him pulled me closer.  
  
"I didn't make you do that." I smiled. Severus tried to pull his arm away, but he found it was no use.  
  
"Woman-" He started  
  
"My name is Randi Lynn" I said, leaning away from him, and looking up into his eyes, grinning.  
  
"This isn't fair!" he grumbled.  
  
"Why not?" I asked innocently.  
  
"Because I want to- DAMMIT! now you're controlling what I say!" He said, frustrated. I laughed.  
  
"All right, Sevvie. I'll be fair and not control your movements, but you have to admit you like me."   
  
He gazed into my eyes for a long moment. Then he did something I didn't expect, or make him do.  
  
He took me into his arms and kissed me. After what seemed like forever (which I wish it would have lasted forever!), he pulled back. "I more than like you. I love you." Then he kissed me again, and we sank down on the couch.  
  
We managed to part long enough for me to say "I love you too, Sevvie." 


End file.
